hiding in the night

i'm hiding in the night...
crying secretly.
i'm hiding in the night...
thinking of you secretly.

heaven knows i love you so.
and thus... it won't let me anywhere near you.
i know myself the best...
and thus... i promised to keep my distance.

heaven knows you love me too.
and thus... it chose to punish you in this way...
letting me exist in your world...
but not allowing us to be together.

even the wind knows how to sigh.
even the rain bowed its head low.
what a pity... what a pity for i can only...

hide in the night...
crying secretly.
always in fear that someone will see my eyes.. red from all the sobs.
hiding in the night...
thinking of you secretly...
always in fear that someone will see through this little secret of ours.

i know i must not indulge in this anymore.
and thus... i keep warning myself that this is nothing but my imagination.

listening to: tanya chua -- wu di dong

leaving memories..summer

i love you so much.. i dare not tell you.
for i'm afraid i'll die if i do.
no... i'm not daunted by death itself.
i'm just scared that if i should die... there'll be no one who loves you as much as i do.

you know... how memories of a particular summer.. most likely the last one in your teenage years leave such memories in your life.. that it will often bring back on a light smile on your face whenever you get nostalgic?

it ain't exactly summer time.. but well.. i do have some nice memories of my last day at work today.

there's this particular guy there..
he's pretty short... at most the same height as me... and he has horrible dress sense...
his hair falls like a curtain in front of his face...
but he's pretty good-looking.. probably charming as well.. i guess.

i didn't know his name.. and i guess i never will.
i often see him on my way to my boss... cuz his boss sits next to mine...
and we exchange glances... before it became smiles.

there's something about him when he smiles anyway.

for the past two days... we took the same lift.. he held the life open for irene and me..
when i said "thanks..."... he replied with a " don't mention it."
imagine my surprise. haha...

today.. we took the same lift as well.. i guess he was laughing at my haircut..

when it was five.. i walked up to him and his group of friends... and gave them chocolates.
he said a "bye" after i explained it was our last day and there was something about his expression.
i swear there was something. haha...

before he left.. he bidded his farewell again.
and that was probably the last of him i'll ever see again.

i guess.. this is someone in some part of everyone's life.. where u never knew his name... never even talked to him probably.. but you'll just remember him for a long time.. as a topic with your colleagues... your friends.

ah.. summer.

listening to: spitz -- mizuiro no machi

good luck

i cut my hair. i look like a doll now. an ugly one.
it still smells of the chemicals for dyeing.

and tomorrow is my last day at work.
hahaha!!!

actually.. i don't wanna quit so soon. school starts in more than a month... what am i going to do during this period of time? i need the cold hard cash for everything.. and now.. i lose it. i hate giving tuition (commitment-phobia)... but guess i have to.. and hopefully have one.. to earn some money.

to think i'm selling my soul for material gains.

how pathetic..

haha...

listening to: nothing

bad hair day

i heard about you.
and i felt nothing.
i'm surprised.

everyday is a bad hair day.
my hair is flying in all directions... my forehead's too high and my present hairstyle ain't complimenting it.
this is a BIG problem.

but i'm cutting it.
after much struggle.. i've finally decided to cut it.
i would love to keep it long.. and do the so-in-trend ceramic perm.. .but.. that'll take me at least two years to get to that length.. so.. let's just say.. i'll cut for the last time in two years.. hopefully i can last that long...

i'm doing a fringe... so that it will cover my horrible forehead.. and make me look better... that's hard but.. oh well..
it'll be a doll look.. and it's really hard to associate with that huh? sighz...

anyway.. i've decided to get all my stationery from muji. I'M BLOODILY BROKE.

i wanna quit.... .i wanna quit.. i wanna quit.

listening to: yellow generation -- lost generation

simple and clean

wish i could prove i love you.
but does that mean i have to walk on water?

i hate my work.
this is...CERTAIN. been assigned new jobs today.. and boy does it suck.
and i won't go into it la huh... cuz... it makes me wanna die.
and i will quit by this week... heck.. even if school starts next year.. i'm not giving a damn anymore.

and.. ta da da da da da...i'm officially in love with kenshin from rurouni kenshin... haha. today's episode was hilarious... and i love the way he say "ororo..." whenever he's speechless or blur... hahaa...

am i pathetic? yes....

should i quit this weekend... well.. sincerely i don't know what to do during this period.. i need to buy lotsa stuffs for school... i already lost my whole pencil case.. i don't know.. how.. why... and when... and thus i'll be so damn bloody brokE!!

and i wanna quiT!!!

listening to: hajime chitose -- hainumi kaze

kimi wo omou (i'm thinking of you)

does it exist?
the beautiful world you often told me about.
will you bring me there?

i'm beginning to love work.
serious.
my supervisor's a real sweetie now... giving us chocolate treats now and then. and she was the reason we wanted to quit earlier. haha... now i just wanna work longer cuz i heard school starts only in august...think about all the money i'm going to exhaust between that period...with the bulk of it going into the prosperity of a giant comic shop which just opened near my place. so much for trying to save up.

i read a set of CLAMP comics yesterday... "Wish"... the only shoujo comics i can stand are from them.. haha.. since theirs are not thaaaaaaaaat shoujo compared to some others... who really go overboard. ( if u wanna know the story of "wish"...eh... next time..i'm too lazy to type..)

and an episode of "Yuyu Hakusho" today made me fall totally in love with Kurama from it. he's smart..confident.. and voiced by one of my favourite seiyuu, ogata megumi. right.. by now it's pretty obvious that gentle, soft-spoken, calm, confident, smart, proud-yet-not-arrogant, dreamy prince-like guys are often voiced by females.. (eg. kenshin from rurouni kenshin and yukito/yue from cardcaptor sakura)...with the exception of my FAVOURITE, akira ishida....they do a good job.. they sound like guys.. but not those.. beefy brainless ones. haha...

right.. so i have a thing for guys who...look like... females..strictly applies to animated characters only~

but serious.. i have a thing for guys who are... as stated ... gentle, soft-spoken, calm, confident, smart, proud-yet-not-arrogant, dreamy prince-like..and recently.. i'm head over heels for a japanese grp w-inds... made up of three guys who look like they are at least 3 yrs younger than me... ( nope.. they are at most one year younger only.)... hahaa....

can someone please come out from the comics?!

i don't know what the hell i'm talking about.

listening to: hajime chitose -- hainumi kaze