ureshii... desu ka?

so tell me.
are you happy now?
are you as happy as i suppose you are?
are you as happy as you claim?
or you are just putting on a strong front?

so tell me.
are you happy now?
to see me not plunging into the depths of desperation and despair.
to see me not holding on to a knife...ever prepared to stab myself in the heart.
to see me not standing by the edge... ready to take the next step out.

so tell me.
are you happy now?
to see me in a dilemma.
to see me in a shock.
to see me in a state of mindlessness.

so tell me.
are you happy now?

i have no idea what i'm writing there... pardon me for that. right now.. i'm reading rurouni kenshin and watching the anime at the same time... boy do i love it! it's wonderful... and totally great... there are times of excitement and plain humour.. wonderful.

yesterday.. i was recapping itazura no kiss...a shoujo manga i read long time ago. i first watched the drama before reading the anime. if you are wondering.. the story's about kotoko.. who's in love with this really proud guy... naoki... eventually she won him over with her determination and never dying love.. haha.

and that's crap.

cuz i wasted so much time and effort on you. and you never bothered to look at me .. thanks.

does determination bring you EVERYWHERE?

not for me.

and oh yes.. i'm beginning to like younger guys... right now.. i guess i'm just someone really desperate.

right... nice.

listening to: final fantasy x-2 -- eternity ~ memories of lightwaves ~